negativity vs. Ricky Nelson

I have been experiencing an unusual amount of random negativity recently.

First there was this guy on the KC Perl Mongers mailing list who totally went off on me after I asked him not to quote complete mailing list digests in replies. Admitedly, "no! bad mailing list participant" is kind of harsh, but was meant as a friendly, over-the-top kind of harsh, like one would correct a puppy. I was thinking of him as a puppy. Puppies are generally considered to be nice, cute things are they not?

Then there was a total flame-fest, again with Perl, pertaining to a bug report which made no sense to me, as the behavior in question, the explanation of which would not make a whole lot of sense to most of the intended audience of this blog, has been the behavior of the Perl language from the get-go. I don't know what all was motivating the people on the other side of the argument, but they seemed to be treating me as if I had kicked their best hound.

Eventually things were said by people in positions of appointed power that quite qualify as slurs and were not founded in truth -- the only way that they could have been meant at face value would be if said appointed power figure was very seriously challenged in terms of discerning hypothetical proposals from statements about how things are today. I don't know if he is that challenged, but I have noticed since his rant against me that others have been very clear in marking hypothetical proposals as such, clearer than would have been required previously. Enough time has passed that I have made up an alternate myth for myself, that he was really yelling at other people but nominally directing his correction at me because he knows from experience that I am thick-skinned enough to take it in stride. I don't know about stride, as the stress of the interaction pretty much preoccupied me for some time.

I have realized that twenty years ago I tried to be who people wanted me to be, which of course was based on how I appeared to them, so I was "trying to be who I appeared to be" through the feedback loop of trying to please those around me, and these days I am "trying to appear like who I am" which is of course reminiscent of billboard's #6 hit from 1972, here copied from the first google hit on "lyrics of 'garden party'"

I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends
A chance to share old memories and play our songs again
When I got to the garden party, they all knew my name
No one recognized me, I didn't look the same

CHORUS
But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well.
You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

People came from miles around, everyone was there
Yoko brought her walrus, there was magic in the air
'n' over in the corner, much to my surprise
Mr. Hughes hid in Dylan's shoes wearing his disguise

CHORUS

lott-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Played them all the old songs, thought that's why they came
No one heard the music, we didn't look the same
I said hello to "Mary Lou", she belongs to me
When I sang a song about a honky-tonk, it was time to leave

CHORUS

lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and out stepped Johnny B. Goode
Playing guitar like a-ringin' a bell and lookin' like he should
If you gotta play at garden parties, I wish you a lotta luck
But if memories were all I sang, I'd rather drive a truck

CHORUS

lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
lot-in-dah-dah-dah

'n' it's all right now, learned my lesson well
You see, ya can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself

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