Muffin Squeezing Man
Recently Ellen went to Minnesota to see our niece Lizzie perform in the play she is in.
On her return, she told a distressing tale of having her brunch experience marred by another customer who examined the available breakfast muffins and replaced them without selecting them.
So I wrote these filk lyrics to "Secret Agent Man."
In the event that someone wishes to perform this, the line about throwing the doughnuts away is intended to be sung with the phrasing of the original, rather than a phrasing more appropriate to the words of that line. You'll need to practice that a few times because it will be tricky.
He's a man who thinks he is a tough one
his evil is he always squeezes muffins
he evaluates each snack but always puts it back
he's the reason health codes demand glass domes
Muffin Squeezin man, Muffin squeezin man
he hangs with
Mister Whipple
he's banned from
Drury lane
He's a man who always tests for freshness
the other diners think he is a pestilence
It wouldn't be so wrong
if he'd just use tongs
behind him in line I think I'll just have juice, please
Muffin Squeezin man, Muffin squeezin man
he hangs with Mister Whipple
he's banned from Drury lane
[ bongo solo ]
Muffin Squeezin man, Muffin squeezin man
he hangs with Mister Whipple
he's banned from Drury lane
Ruining the donuts on a monday
mars the icing on the cupcakes on a tuesday
Did noone ever tell this man
look with your eyes and not your hands
the odds are they might have to throw those away
Muffin Squeezin man, Muffin squeezin man
he hangs with Mister Whipple
he's banned from Drury lane
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two conceptual art projects - 2009-11-21 decoupled extent provisioning interface - 2009-11-12 because I tried to paste this whole thing into a comment and it ate my >s - 2009-09-22 Just another accidental coffee abstainer for highway safety - 2009-09-16 Broadcasting live, from the municipal ketchup works - 2009-09-12 |
