towards wearable credit totems

So I'm searching the USPTO database for "wearable credit card" and you know what? there isn't anything. Maybe I should file a provisional application. But do I really want to go into business producing this thing that I came up with as an amusing concept for a class project?

Anyway here's the skit I wrote to introduce the invention:

“Would you like My Sandwich?” a skit

Cast of characters:

Narrator: Imagine Rod Serling going to UMKC
Counter: plans to achieve promotion to assistant manager by carefully following customer service guidelines
First: harried and poor
Second: harried and poor but with credit
Third: bedecked with stylish ornament

The counter at “My Sandwich,” represented by the table at the front of the classroom. The stage dressing is provided by a powerpoint slide with the words “Would you like My Sandwich?” and a picture of a delicious sandwich. A box labeled “Yes we take credit cards” sits on the table.

Counter waits behind the table, wearing a paper hat.

Narrator: In the beginning, there was the cash transaction. Cash is a millenia-old product on which the rights long ago entered the public domain. Cash is often made of metal in a historic reference to the use of precious metals as a medium of exchange. Precious metal is also used for jewelry.

ENTER first

Counter: Would you like my sandwich?

First: Yes, I’d like a small my sandwich and a small my drink, to go.

Counter: Would you like fries with that?

First: No, not today, I’m nearly out of money.

Counter: That will be five dollars.

First loudly plops down five sacagewea dollars.

Counter hands First a paper sack and a cup.

EXIT First.

Counter collects the money as the message resumes

Narrator: Just over fifty years ago, the credit card revolutionized the American consumer experience. With improvements in digital communications technology, credit cards and the corresponding merchant equipment infrastructure have now become so commonplace that they are often the medium of exchange used for purchasing lunch.

ENTER Second, holding a credit card.

Counter: Would you like my sandwich?

Second: Yes, I’d like a medium my sandwich and a regular my drink, for here.

Counter: Would you like fries with that?

Second: Hmm. I don’t have to pay for this until next month, so yes, I’ll have fries.

Counter: that will be seven dollars.

Second swipes the credit card against the box, then touches the box as if pressing a button.

Counter hands Second a paper sack and a cup.

EXIT Second

Narrator: Now, with the introduction of the Bank of Team Four’s new product, the Bling Card, it is possible for people to once again wear the medium of exchange as jewelry.

Enter Third customer, who is wearing the Bling Card in her hair.

Counter: Would you like my sandwich?

Third: Yes, I’d like a large my sandwich and a large my drink, to go.

Counter: Would you like fries with that?

Third: no thanks, I’m dieting.

Counter: That will be eight dollars.

Third removes the Bling Card from her hair, uses it as a credit card, and puts it back.

Counter hands Third a paper sack and a cup

EXIT Third

Counter strikes the set as the message continues

Narrator: Not only does the Bling Card provide an incentive for the expanding stylish youth market to maintain funds in a Bank of Team Four account, but we intend to receive a recurring non-interest income from licensing our patents on the concept and the processes used to efficiently manufacture Bling Cards to other banks who wish to offer wearable credit cards, available in comb, ring, broach and pendant form, as credit card options.

END

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